“, “_content”: “field_616ffe00e72ce” }, “align”: “”, “mode”: “edit” } \/–><\/p>\r\n\r\n
So, to reassure them it\u2019s no big deal, we might say: \u201choney, there\u2019s no need to get upset! Stop crying.
\u201dEasier said than done if Sophie\u2019s been given YOUR favorite yellow cup!
What we say doesn’t always get the response we’re hoping for. In this situation, asking a child to stop crying often comes across more like: \u201cyour feelings about this don\u2019t matter, because I don’t see an issue here.
\u201dIt might make no sense to us \u2014 after all, why get worked up over the color of a cup of all things? But suppose you’ve had a seriously crappy day at work. You’ve come home and begun pouring your heart out to your partner on what happened. You’re expecting to be comforted \u2014 but instead, they reply: \u201cit could’ve been worse! Just relax and re-do your presentation tomorrow.\u201d Ok \u2014 they might have good intentions, but that wasn\u2019t exactly helpful.\u00a0
We get upset because we anticipated a different response. I mean, our partner could’ve said: \u201cyou lost all your progress? Oh honey, I can imagine you’re disappointed.\u201dA response like this is so great because it makes us feel seen and understood by the people we love. It might be the words we need to hear to take a deep breath, pull ourselves together and give that daunting presentation another shot!
Guess what –\u00a0 this also works with kids! Children just have a different perspective on what is and isn’t significant to them. Like the color of their cup!
Next time, let\u2019s try:
\u201cI noticed you\u2019re upset, and that\u2019s ok! It\u2019s ok to feel sad.\u201d\u00a0
You\u2019d be surprised how easy those words take the sting off. Not just when your child is sad, either – you can apply this for any mood. Simply let your child experience their feelings \u2013 it\u2019ll give you some well-needed relief and peace of mind. When your child can express how they feel, tantrums become a lot shorter, and your child has the confidence to express themselves and feel their emotions. This is an important skill they’ll carry with themselves for the rest of their lives!
\ufe0fP.S. All feelings are valid, but certainly not all behavior is ok!
I can see if I can email it to you or update it on the site if you’d like?<\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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